1. 8 Aug



    High School

    It really happened. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that. As we approach September, I gotta realize I’m not just gonna live out the same end-of-summer routine that I’ve lived for as long as I remember (not counting when I moved across continents to get where I am today). What I mean is the mental approach to end of summer and beginning of school… It’s not just the beginning of school.

    This time, it feels much more different. This time, I realize that I can’t go back and change all those times I wish I had known how to act like an adult… but that the time to live like an adult starts now.

    I’m not setting expectations for me. I have been waiting for this moment my entire life, it seems. Now, I’ll never turn 18 again. I’ll have to look forward to my 20s, 30s, and 40s, and who knows if beyond that. I have to start thinking about my life. I have to be an adult. This isn’t high school anymore!! I can’t get that through my head enough times today it seems.

    Thank god I’m gonna be free of high school. I lived it, I survived it.

    I’m thinking about stocks. The thought of them scares me and excites me. The thought that I have control of my life, control of my finances, control of how much I want to gamble in my life.

    Moving out: the first and last time. I gotta do it right. I gotta be able to go forth without looking back. If I should stumble, I’m on my own. There is NO WAY I am going to return to that malicious capturing den of her manipulations. I am going to be out of here, I am going to be free.

    Thank god I’m gonna be free of my family and their legal obligations and other retarded ways of saying “You need us, so you better be good”

    I love my life, I want to live it right, by MY rules. So here we go! It’s the start of my great next adventure.

    <3

     

  2. 1 Aug


    nazo-nazo: letsfuckitupright: (via honesteeze, l0rdv0ldem0rt)

    nazo-nazo:

    letsfuckitupright:

    (via honesteeze, l0rdv0ldem0rt)

     

  3. 25 Jul


    I love when people can do creative shit without photoshop. back to the basics, markers xD and with the black nails, jack d, and outfit this just looks classy nazo-nazo: (via precipice)

    I love when people can do creative shit without photoshop. back to the basics, markers xD and with the black nails, jack d, and outfit this just looks classy

    nazo-nazo:

    (via precipice)

     

  4. 4 Jun


    nazo-nazo: sirpronjohnathan-ix: justoverhere12: grritstim: yeahitslexi: mybutt:(via steffykitty)

    nazo-nazo:

    sirpronjohnathan-ix:

    justoverhere12:

    grritstim:

    yeahitslexi:

    mybutt:(via steffykitty)

     

  5. 1 Jun


    luckyshirt: Summer. I pulled into work this morning, and the usually bustling campus is once again a ghost town. Classes ended last week, and all the students are somewhere enjoying the new week without academic worry, or still celebrating their graduation. I love this day every year. There is a feeling of resetting and moving on, even if it shares that space with a sense of loss as one phase of life ends for some of us. This is heightened for me, because I lost my father this week in 2004. Three days prior, I lost my best friend at work. Just over a week before that, my grandfather. By the time that summer ended, 10 people were gone from my life. All passed away. All unrelated.  That was also the summer my ex got pregnant with our daughter. Our first child. And the creation of a new life in the middle of all that death saved me from who knows what. It was also this time last year that I was preparing for and took my trip to New York and Boston for my first Tweetup. That was such an amazing weekend, and was a huge turning point for me. Like a defibrillator to my life. Then there are still those fading memories of riding to the beach every day, and road trips, and kissing Winnie Cooper in a tree. I am a winter man, for sure. I love the holidays and the (relative) cold. But I still love you, summer. Even though you weren’t always good to me. Related: Congratulations to all of you who are graduating. You should be nothing but proud of yourself right now for sticking through what may have been unbearable sometimes for hope. Hope that your efforts will be rewarded. I hope they are, and wish all of you the best of luck. Good job. This amazing photograph was taken by ~juxxo.

    luckyshirt:

    Summer.

    I pulled into work this morning, and the usually bustling campus is once again a ghost town. Classes ended last week, and all the students are somewhere enjoying the new week without academic worry, or still celebrating their graduation.

    I love this day every year. There is a feeling of resetting and moving on, even if it shares that space with a sense of loss as one phase of life ends for some of us.

    This is heightened for me, because I lost my father this week in 2004. Three days prior, I lost my best friend at work. Just over a week before that, my grandfather. By the time that summer ended, 10 people were gone from my life. All passed away. All unrelated. 

    That was also the summer my ex got pregnant with our daughter. Our first child. And the creation of a new life in the middle of all that death saved me from who knows what.

    It was also this time last year that I was preparing for and took my trip to New York and Boston for my first Tweetup. That was such an amazing weekend, and was a huge turning point for me. Like a defibrillator to my life.

    Then there are still those fading memories of riding to the beach every day, and road trips, and kissing Winnie Cooper in a tree.

    I am a winter man, for sure. I love the holidays and the (relative) cold. But I still love you, summer. Even though you weren’t always good to me.

    Related: Congratulations to all of you who are graduating. You should be nothing but proud of yourself right now for sticking through what may have been unbearable sometimes for hope. Hope that your efforts will be rewarded. I hope they are, and wish all of you the best of luck. Good job.

    This amazing photograph was taken by ~juxxo.

     

  6. 1 Jun



    one of those times when the weirdest, randomest most unexpected experience makes you re-evaluate and get your life together?

    so I was waiting at the bus stop and this Hispanic guy comes and stands next to me, and he looks at me and asks me (in spanish and again in english) if I speak spanish. I kind of give him a sideways glance. I say, why? (in english) and he responds with the question again in spanish. at this point I kind of smile so I’ve given myself away.

    we start having this conversation, right? (in spanish, since he doesn’t know much english, and the main purpose it seems at first was to ask me if the 5 had gone by, and I responded that there should be one in 10 minutes). and he seems like a nice guy, and we allow each other like 15 seconds silence in between every other line, in an awkward way. I ask him how long he’s been in the U.S., where he’s from, stuff like that. he asks me if I’m in high school, if I have a job…

    not that this is at all dangerous, but anyway I tell him I’m going to college in california in september so there’s no point in getting a job now, and then he says why not study here? and I said I got into a really good university (didn’t mention which, I don’t like bragging) and they were also covering a lot of my money. he says I seem pretty smart, and we talk about education a bit…

    anyway, the point of my story was that, after a while (on the bus) I started evaluating myself and how I see education. because I mentioned that I was really busy with school because it was my last week and I have a lot of projects due, and he seemed kind of confused. I admitted that I like to procrastinate because I’m lazy… he still seemed confused. it seems to me that if he’d been able to put himself through more school (than what? I don’t know) he would have liked to. and that made me sad. it made me feel spoiled, because I have the luxury of being lazy, and he’s probably worked hard his whole life…

    it made me sad that I’ve been partying and fooling around every weekend for the past month or so and not getting my shit together. I told myself I would get my shit together today, and now after meeting him (and after I post this, of course) I’ve decided that there should be no reason to stop me from finishing what I need to finish. I’m gonna do it for him, for my family (although all their stupid expectations make me angry, they’re still people like him who didn’t achieve everything they wanted with their lives), and for my future (I want to do well in college, and I need good work habits for that). I’m gonna do it because some people really value education, and why should I just take it for granted? why do I get to be spoiled? that’s one of the traits I hate the most in people, and yes, oh yes I am a hypocrite…

    so, no partying until school’s out. that’s really not that far away at this point, but I need to make sure I have my priorities straight. and by the time I get to university, I hope I know how to manage my time better…

     

  7. 26 Apr



    Testing mobile capability?